Sacred Secrets

17 weeks pregnant and no one knows except those friends and family we've told verbally.  To be honest, it's refreshing.  For someone who has had her life broadcast online for years, keeping this to myself has been really nice.  Not dealing with droves of unwanted advice or attention, being able to feel normal, and feeling like this isn't a big deal has been incredibly nice.  I know I will announce online at some point, at least when I'm so big it's not possible to deny the fact that I'm carrying around an extra human inside me, but for now, just letting my life be mine is a luxury I haven't let myself have in 8 years.  

That being said, I am looking forward to talking about it online, since it does affect a lot that will be happening soon.  I want to share baby den decor ideas, get advice from other moms (ah, that word is still weird to think about applying to myself) on various things, talk about us moving to Alaska and why.

My friend was saying that I'm probably documenting this whole process because I'm a blogger, but actually, I haven't been.  Maybe I'll regret that later, but for now, I don't have to blog about it, and that's nice.  And honestly there hasn't been much to blog about "it."  I haven't felt sick, I'm not really showing very much (just feeling chubby-ish), and feel pretty normal all around.  I think I may have felt the first flutters of "it" moving inside me a few days ago, but other than that, not a lot that is noteworthy has happened.  I had my first prenatal appointment when I was up in Anchorage 2 weeks ago and got an ultrasound where I saw the baby, which was bizzare.  But most of my thought energy has been consumed with editing and taking wedding photos for my clients and trying to make a final decision on whether or not we're moving to Alaska.  Boring stuff, really.  No profound thoughts on being a mother or carrying a child.  No solid answers to the endless, "how do you feel?" queries, and I'm never sure whether they're referring to my mental or physical state, and either way the answer is pretty boring.